Thursday, December 5, 2013

i'm not in love, but i want to be

Photo via: Sandra Beijer

There's this boy,
When we meet he smiles.
When we go separate ways he comes running back to give me another goodbye-kiss.
When I'm cold he gives me his hoodie, I thought that didn't actually happens.
When we kiss he lifts me up and denies that I weigh too much.
When we sleep, we sleep. Nothing more.
When there's no room to sit, he makes me sit in his lap.
He hugs me from behind.
He rests his head on my shoulder.
When we're in bed, or any other place actually, he sings for me even though he can't sing.

He is probably the best I'll ever get but I don't deserve him.
When he sits next to me I don't feel the urge to hold his hand.
My lips doesn't crave to meet his.
My eyes don't search for his.
I don't find any point in talking to him about anything just to talk.
My heart doesn't pound and my blood doesn't rush.
I'm not in love, but I want to be.
I want to be in love with him.
I know he'd catch me if I fell for him.
So how do I fall?


  1. you can't make yourself fall.
    i tried, failed and am paying for it now.

  2. I just made a post similar to this. My first love is the only guy I felt this way for, and with everyone else I felt like I needed to force myself to accomplish things that should come easy. Instead of wanting to see them all the time, I found myself making excuses to not go.

    Best of luck to you.. If I figure out how to force your self to fall, I'll let you know.

  3. on the other side though. This could be something amazing. With time. I know love is not the same but some of my best friends I've gained because I had the patience to get to know them. Now they mean the world to me. I imagine you could fall in love too - but only if your relationship is about so much more than touching, kissing and hugging. After all when a person touches your soul, you can't help but fall in love with them. And funnily enough those signs of being in love start occuring because of the deeper connection.
    If you can't click on a higher level willingly or not, you should both move on.


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