Monday, December 30, 2013

one day

LE LOVE BLOG LOVE PHOTO INTIMATE MOMENT COUPLE EMBRACE BLACK WHITE PHOTO n photo LELOVEBLOGLOVEPHOTOINTIMATEMOMENTCOUPLEEMBRACEBLACKWHITEPHOTOn_zps563542a4.png
LE LOVE BLOG LOVE PHOTO LOVE QUOTE WORDS ONE DAY SOMEONE WILL WALK INTO YOUR LIFE AND MAKE YOU SEE WHY IT NEVER WORKED OUT WITH ANYONE ELSE photo LELOVEBLOGLOVEPHOTOLOVEQUOTEWORDSONEDAYSOMEONEWILLWALKINTOYOURLIFEANDMAKEYOUSEEWHYITNEVERWORKEDOUTWITHANYONEELSE_zps73b44c66.jpg
Photos via: all she ever thinks about | We Heart It

Sunday, December 29, 2013

love makes you blind

LE LOVE BLOG LOVE STORY LOVE PHOTO IMAGE GIRL WOMAN TWO LAYERED IMAGES RELATIONSHIP LOVE MAKES YOU BLIND BREAK UP STORY Untitled by Lisa Smit, on Flickr
Photo via: Lisa Smit

This is me trying to find an ending to a story that has been led on for way too long. I met him when I was only 15 years old, he, at the time, was 19 which is my current age. We hit it off quite well on my opinion, even though we didn’t communicate much during that day but there was something about him that instantly got my attention. But as it turned out, he didn’t think much of me and found our age difference too big at the time.

Time passed on, first year didn’t change much, for me he was just someone who I knew but wasn’t eager to talk to every single day. But we did talk quite much, more and more with every day. I think it was somewhere around second year after we had met, when I got to know him better and found out his good and bad sides. Around third year of our communication I realized that I was even starting to like the sides of him that I had earlier consider as really annoying and bad ones. Now I can say that I fell in love. Love makes you blind, doesn’t it? Loving someone means putting them first. We weren’t a couple and we had a 200km distance between us, but he was always the one most important person for me. But he was not a nice guy, with me he was quite the perfect example of a dick actually. He would say things that made me melt and then ignore the shit out of me. He would say that he really cares about me and then leave me all alone in a city not familiar for me. He would say that he wouldn’t like to see me in a relationship with another and then not be in one with me either. He would say one thing and then act completely different and vise versa.

I have always buried everything bad inside me. When something bothers me, I do let others know about it, but as long as it’s not something from deep inside. I keep everything important with myself, because I’ve gone through a lot with different relationships with different people and I don’t want others to have the privilege of using my feelings and my previous shitty life against me. But I started to let him in, I told him some things that I had never told anybody else, I let my guards down.

He broke me once again, just like all my girl-friends told me he would. This time was different though, this time we were starting a relationship, really going for it. This time I was falling for him, he wasn’t just someone really important, he was turning into someone I loved. This time, he was the one pushing me into it, he was the one to start every move. From the way he would act and talk, I thought that it really might work out. I even got fond of his family and his dog, how silly is that?

Then he told me that it’s not going to work out, even though he really tried. I wanted to punch him so bad. Not because he didn’t have feelings for me, the way that I did with him, since there’s no way to make someone feel that certain feeling, but because he led me on for so long, because he made me let my guard down, he made me forgive him and made me forget. Just to break me all over again, into millions of little pieces.

I’ve always considered myself a tough girl, I’m not the kind that cries turning sad movies, I’m really not the crying type at all. But that night I cried. The second after finishing that talk with him, I went straight up to my room and collapsed onto my bed. I cried for 4 or 5 hours straight, I felt like I had been punched into my stomach, like there was this big hole right inside of me with wind howling through. I was messed up and I still can not believe the way I was. That is not me, what had happened?

With every word written down here tonight, I get more and more sad and frustrated. He had no respect whatsoever for me and I still let him push me around. But, at the same time, I realize even more what an inconsiderate douche bag he really is. He never cared about me, but only wanted someone to be there for him at his terms and conditions, someone who wouldn’t leave him when he was feeling down, someone who liked him even at his worst. Do you see how much I’ve used the word "he" and how little of the world "me"? A man with no empathy. I deserve better, I deserve respect and someone who would actually stand up for his words and really honestly care about me.

I appreciate every little detail of my life and that is one relationship that has grown me so strong. I got back up and can seriously say now that I’m over it. I’m not quite sure yet what I have learned from all of it but I’m sure I’ll get there.

He still thinks that I cut him out of my life because of the fact that he became all or nothing for me, but I promised one thing to myself- if this gets published, I’ll send it to him, just so he could get a little reality-check and maybe try to become a better person towards others.

Don’t let others dictate your life!

perhaps this is karma

LE LOVE BLOG LOVE STORY LOVE PHOTO IMAGE GIRL WOMAN LOOKING IN THE MIRROR THINKING RELATIONSHIP KARMA Untitled by Olga Astrog  , on Flickr
Photo via: Olga Astrog

Perhaps this is karma. I followed my heart, only to have it broken in pretty much the same way I broke someone else's. For two years. I was in a long distance relationship, which wasn't really going anywhere. I never really stopped to think about the future, even though he spoke of being with me, marrying me. I had a life in another country, and I only realised how little he meant to me when he began talking of taking out a loan to come study in the same country as me. Work part-time to pay off that loan, just so that he could be with me, since I couldn't come to be with him. I panicked - I had a different life, different friends. I didn't want him to come just because of me. Eventually he dropped the idea, but we would constantly fight about why I chose to study away from him. It was better for me and my career, but he couldn't see that and I got tired of having to justify it to him.

And then I met this boy, S - well I'd known him already for a year but we had never really hung out. Everyone was leaving for the summer, and he invited me out for drinks, since his usual gang of friends were not around. I was hesitant, and on the point of saying no, because I didn't really know him. But I said yes and I went. We had the best night out - it's hard to describe all that happened. But there was an instant connection and it just felt natural to be with him. Two days later, he dragged me along for last-minute shopping, and I watched him pack before we went out again. It was the most magical night! He left the next morning, and I spent all day feeling uneasy. It was not until he called to let me know he had reached home that I realised how badly I had been waiting for his call and that I was falling in love. In the meantime, my boyfriend (although I had long stopped considering him my boyfriend) said we should take a break, and I was relieved that I didn't have to be the bad person. I tried to reach out as a friend and make sure he was ok, but maybe I should have tried harder.

S and I spent the summer talking, knowing that we would be together again once we were back. When we met again at the end of summer, the first 15 days were perfect and I fell more and more in love - we both did, I know that for a fact. We moved in together, and somehow ended up fighting and hating each other. He turned to an ex for emotional support and shut me out. I had no idea how to fix things. The only thing that kept me going through all of it was the memory of those 15 days. I never gave up on us, even though he constantly tried to push me away. Somehow we made it through and were together for two years, in our own bubble. But then his course finished, and he left. That last night out before he left was again the most amazing night we had. We danced all night, and just as we sat down, exhausted and tired, the DJ played our song. We left the club singing loudly, just as it started to snow. That night I howled like a baby, realising he was leaving forever and he just held me. We made promises to see each other soon, and to tell each other everything, no matter what.

For the first few months, it worked. It wasn't perfect - we had our fights, but we had each other. I trusted him blindly, even when people questioned how I could be so confident about our love and what we had given that we were so far apart. Then I found out he was talking to his ex. She made sure I found out. For two months, they had been talking for hours at night, hanging out, taking photos with their arms around each other, and I had been clueless. He said she was just a good friend, he promised it wouldn't happen again, that he would stop. But that was another lie. Eventually he admitted that he liked talking to her, and that he couldn't stop. She messaged me saying they are dating, but he has denied that. They are friends on facebook now, his profile picture on facebook and whatsapp is one of the two of them, they talk all the time. He called me two days ago, drunk, admitting that he is wrong, and saying that he loves me. We haven't even broken up officially, but I don't know the next time we will talk. I don't know what I mean to him anymore, or if I mean anything at all. I'm just so confused. All I know is that I love him, and always will. I put my heart and soul into this relationship, I gave it all I had. And all I'm left with is a broken heart and the knowledge that whatever I did wasn't enough, that I wasn't enough for him. Perhaps this is karma for what I did to my ex.

Saturday, December 28, 2013

what you see in a person

LE LOVE BLOG LOVE PHOTO PIC IMAGE LOVE BLACK WHITE COUPLE CUDDLING IN BED SOMETIMES YOU CANT EXPLAIN WHAT YOU SEE IN A PERSON ITS JUST THE WAY THEY TAKE YOU TO A PLACE WHERE NO ONE ELSE CAN ALEX DRUM PHOTO photo LELOVEBLOGLOVEPHOTOPICIMAGELOVEBLACKWHITECOUPLECUDDLINGINBEDSOMETIMESYOUCANTEXPLAINWHATYOUSEEINAPERSON_zps2cfb8d83.jpg
Photo via: Alex Drum | Modified by: I Speak Quotes

Thursday, December 26, 2013

I want someone

LE LOVE BLOG LOVE STORY LOVE PHOTO IMAGE COUPLE HUGGING AT PIANO I WANT SOMEONE WANT YOU TO BE SOMEONE RED PLAID SHIRTS MATCHING LOOKS Untitled by Rasoul Ashtary , on Flickr
Photo via: Rasoul Ashtary

I want someone to embrace, listening to slow music and she sits in my arms, my lips upon her shoulder

I want someone to hold hands with as we walk to meet friends downtown

I want someone to wink at in public places and grin as she bites her lip

I want someone to share my longings and secrets with, and she'll protect them and support me

I want someone who will sit next to me on the couch as the rain falls, her head on my chest, hands on my legs

I want someone I can sing in the car with, at the top of our lungs with windows rolled down

I want someone who will cook meals with me, stopping periodically for tickle fights, then kissing as we get back to cooking

I want someone I can pour time and energy into, to be strong when she needs to be held, to share her in her victories and rebuild during her setbacks

I want someone who will ask me which earrings I like better with her dress as we get ready for an elegant evening out

I want someone who will work out with me, playfully yet firmly challenging me to be better

I want someone to hold at night, to intertwine my legs with as we whisper in each others ears

I want you to be that someone

Monday, December 23, 2013

i thought i would be the one to change his mind

LE LOVE BLOG LOVE STORY LOVE PHOTO IMAGE GIRL WOMAN LOOKING THINKING  RELATIONSHIP DOES NOT WANT KID TO GET MARRIED WANT TO CHANGE HIM CANNOT CHANGE HIM BREAK UP STORY Untitled by Alejandro Melero Carrillo , on Flickr
Photo via: Alejandro Melero Carrillo

We broke up on the way home from work. Nick picked me up from the train station in my car and I couldn't even look him in the eye. Throughout the workday I replayed over and over of what I was going to say to him. But once I got in the car my mind went blank and I couldn't swallow that lump in my throat. We parked outside our apartment and before he could get out of the car I blurted out "Are you happy?" He fumbled with my keys for a minute and said, "no." I wish he was brave enough to have told me on his own but I think he knew I would bring it up first. You see, we have been friends since high school so he knew my personality very well. We kept in touch over the years and randomly started to date when we were 26. I always wondered what it would be like to date him and now I can safely say that we were not meant for each other. After a year of dating we moved in together and without thinking twice I thought/hoped/prayed that he was the one. However, he didn't want to get married or have kids and that is something that I couldn't compromise on. Like any hopeful person I thought I would be the one to change his mind. I wasn't.

That night I told him this: "Maybe you won't ever get married or have kids but maybe, just maybe, you'll meet someone so special that your mind will change and you'll choose her to start a family with." He said, "yeah." He is a man of very few words.

9 months has passed and this is the longest I've ever been single. I've been told that I'm the "girlfriend type" not the "dating type," which I couldn't agree more with. I'm thankful for this time of not having any attachments but it has been tough. I've been on a string of great dates with sad endings...up until I met Jason. It sounds cheesy but when we first met I had this calming feeling. Like, we could talk about anything. He enjoyed my random humor and he commented me on my solid eye contact. We have been dating for a few weeks now and I'm enjoying our time together. He likes to take things slow and I'm kind of an energizer bunny when it comes to dating. But, so far it has been evening out. I don't know where things will go with us but Jason makes me feel how I have always wanted to feel and I am thankful that he was brought into my world.

I would choose Jason.

Friday, December 20, 2013

unexpected

LE LOVE BLOG LOVE STORY LOVE PHOTO IMAGE GIRL WOMAN SITTING THINKING ON BED MIRROR REFLECTION UNEXPECTED BOY FAIRYTALE END Untitled by Joel Sossa, on Flickr
Photo via: Esben Bøg

It’s time I get this out so I can let go and move on. I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve stared at a blank page trying to write this down. How do you put something so beautiful, so complex, into words? What do you do when you’ve lived a fairy tale but didn’t get your happy ending? How will anything compare?

We met in the most unexpected of places. A Caribbean island on Christmas vacation. I saw you around and thought you were gorgeous, but we didn’t actually meet until the second last day. You looked and acted like a typical American frat boy, the kind of person I’ve always had a natural disdain for. I thought we’d have some fun. Everyone else drifted off to bed and you promised me we’d jump in the pool by the end of the night. Instead, you pushed me in, and then the first in a series of unexpected things: you kissed me. In a pool, in the middle of paradise. It felt like a movie.

For the next 36 hours we were inseparable and discovered that we were both in the process of trying to end destructive relationships that had hurt us deeply. And you surprised me again. I’d assumed you’d be shallow, empty, without substance. Just a college kid who liked to party. That night I discovered you were sweet, genuine, emotional. Your soul had real depth. That’s when I fell in love with you. I fell in love with you because you surprised me in a world where so few people do. I fell in love with you because you were unexpected; because you had a genuine heart amidst a sea of 20somethings who don’t care about anything or anyone anymore. We talked all night in a cabana after everyone had gone to bed. We walked along the entire beachfront and found a starfish. We paddled out alone to the middle of the ocean and you asked me if you’d ever see me again. It feels like another lifetime even though it was less than a year ago. On the last morning before we caught our flights we Google mapped the distance between our respective cities: 426 miles and one international border. A seven hour drive.

We exchanged numbers but I never thought we’d stay in touch. The plane ride was one of the saddest, most wistful moments of my life. Back to reality, which could never possibly shine as bright as those two nights with you. But when I got back to the airport and turned on my phone, I already had a text from you: “miss you already”. My heart stopped.

And so it began. Eleven months of my fairy tale, which has now turned into a nightmare. Since that first night we haven’t gone more than a day without speaking. You started calling me every day, and we’d Skype every night, sometimes for 12 hours at a time. Less than a month passed before I caved and got on a 12 hour bus ride to come down and see you. I didn’t even know you, but it felt like we’d been together our entire lives. I couldn’t even remember a life without you in it. What happened over the next ten months isn’t important: we’ve been through more together in this short time than other couples go through in years and years. That first visit you told me you wanted to be together despite the distance, and although I’d never understood long distance relationships, it didn’t compute in my mind as a choice. Of course we’d be together. You started driving up to see me every other weekend and I’d come down whenever I could. You’re every single one of my top ten memories, but now I wish I could erase them all.

I don’t know if you and I were meant to meet, or if it was just some bizarre coincidence that brought us together on that island. I don’t know if I’ll love you forever, but I do know that I could have. My love for you surpasses every other feeling I’ve had in my entire life put together… every bit of sadness, happiness, anger in 23 years doesn’t add up to the feelings I have for this one tiny person out of six billion others.

I don’t know if you ever loved me as much as I love you, I don’t know if you love me still. All I know is that people aren’t static: they’re transmutable, fluid across different situations. The person I met on that island doesn’t exist anymore. Genuine, sweet, beautiful. What’s left is that frat boy who cares about nothing and has no real substance. Something I never thought you’d be – everything I hate in a person. The person I fell in love with is as good as dead. I’ve spent 81 days crying in my bed waiting for him to come back, it’s been almost three months since I’ve seen you. I never would have believed that this could happen to us, but I guess that’s what you’ve always been. Unexpected.

Thursday, December 19, 2013

you and me and the dog

LE LOVE BLOG LOVE PHOTO COUPLE KISSING DOG copy photo LELOVEBLOGLOVEPHOTOCOUPLEKISSINGDOGcopy_zpsa5d1b393.png
 photo LELOVEBLOGLOVEPHOTOLOVEQUOTEYOUANDMEANDTHEDOGASHLEYGETSYPRINT_zps86f0436a.jpg
Photos via: We Heart It | Ashley G

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

those words

LE LOVE BLOG LOVE STORY TELL HOW YOU FEEL I LIKE YOU MOTIVATIONAL QUOTE COURAGE NATURE PHOTOGRAPHER PHOTO Julian Bialowas photo LELOVEBLOGLOVESTORYTELLHOWYOUFEELILIKEYOUMOTIVATIONALQUOTECOURAGENATUREPHOTOGRAPHERJulianBialowas_zps5c1d517e.jpg
Photo via: Julian Bialowas

I have to be honest. I always try to be honest. The problem is that I cannot be honest to your face, which makes me wonder whether that makes me less honest overall.

I liked you from the first moment I met you. You are very appealing, and as I was told later on, you seem to be very popular among girls. Which makes this whole thing even harder. I was told you had a girlfriend, but then you told me you broke up, and how you broke up, and why, and how that made you feel. I know you are not exactly there yet, to move on to a new relationship, but I know you are closer than you were when I had just met you.

When I am close to you, I feel warm, comfortable, and laugh a lot. Not many people give me that warm sensation from the very beginning, which makes me like you even more. I love your crazy ideas, the risks you take, but at the same time, your sensitive and kind heart, which you try to hide, even though it is so obvious to me. I feel as if you are rather simple to understand. You have no second thoughts, no second guesses, you are the clearest blue of a sky boy I have ever met.

And that’s what drives me crazy. I cannot tell whether you like me or not. Whether you are being nice because you like me as a friend or something more. Whether you would ever be attracted to me, and my silly self, which gets all giggly and high-school like whenever I walk next to you. And I am scared as hell to ask you. I am afraid you might say no, I don’t like you that way. I am afraid this will tear my stupid heart in two. But most of all, I am afraid I might lose you, and I cannot stand losing one more person. We have plans and I am three stupid words away from ruining them. I like you. There you go, I said it.

So if you read this, please know I am not brave at all. I am afraid, afraid to find out what’s worse: losing you before I get a chance to say how I feel, or losing you after I do? So if you read this, do not let those words that will come out eventually, ruin what we’ve got. Let’s make plans baby, and enjoy the moment.

Monday, December 16, 2013

this deep seeded fear

LE LOVE BLOG LOVE PHOTO IMAGE PIC GIRL IN BRA BLURRY LOVE STORY GIRL DOUBLE STANDARDS JUST WANTS SEX NO RELATIONSHIP LOW SELF ESTEEM DEFENSIVE FEAR OF GETTING HURT nue de dos by Elena Melkumova, on Flickr
Photo via: Elena Melkumova

Why is it that when you start hanging out with a girl to an excessive degree and you like them intrinsically as a person the logical progression becomes a close platonic friendship, but when there is the same occurrence with a boy suddenly it becomes a ‘thing?’ Suddenly it’s infatuation, on one side at least. We ponder ‘well, we’re both single, so shouldn’t we?’ Why must we feel this innate, subliminal responsibility to pair up and populate the earth? I understand and agree wholeheartedly with the fact that as a race we are a bunch of horny fuckers; so fuck me. I’ll enjoy it, it’s a natural thing. But don’t sue me when I won’t want to hold your hand afterwards.

This is an issue I have. It has a small amount of something to do with this deep seeded fear of hurting another person mentally, spiritually, fucking metaphysically, but about ninety percent of it lies with enjoying being single and simultaneously hanging out with men. Boys are cool, they listen to cool music, they have opinions that differ from my own, they talk about funny things that don’t occur to me, they lend me their loop pedals to use with my shitty electric guitar and Christmas jumpers when we’re walking home and I’m cold. Sometimes we sleep in the same bed and it’s great, people let down their barriers when the lights are off. But then after a while they want to snuggle. Or they start complementing you too much and finding mean shit you do endearing. It’s frustration at its greatest, not only emotionally for me, but physically and sexually for them.

So am I a tease? Am I some sort of cold hearted tramp for hanging out with these boys and then being surprised when they announce that they want to do this on a permanent, romantic basis? Maybe I am; sometimes I walk around in a bra, because that’s what I do with my friends; sometimes I tease them and laugh at their jokes, because that’s what I do with my friends. But when you put this underlying context on these situations that is apparently inherent in this society regardless of your lack of knowledge surrounding it, suddenly I feel like a whore. But how was I to know? How was I to know it was possible for someone to like me as a person? Who was I to think that someone might look at me and feel infatuation or lust or love? I’m just this wacky girl with a home haircut. And I don’t want a relationship, I want a good fuck and an easy goodbye, and I want the people I really like to stick around and not have our friendship fucked up by sex and feelings and lame jazz like that. Some people are shit and I am one of them.

Sunday, December 15, 2013

you have a lovely arse

LE LOVE BLOG LOVE PHOTO PIC IMAGE ROMANTIC KISS ON THE FLOOR ROCK ALBUMS JEANS HOLY GHOST ALBUM COVER photo LELOVEBLOGLOVEPHOTOPICIMAGEROMANTICKISSONTHEFLOORROCKALBUMSJEANSHOLYGHOSTALBUMCOVER_zps397c8795.jpg
LE LOVE BLOG LOVE ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BLUE SUGAR IS SWEET YOU HAVE A LOVELY ARSE CALLIGRAPHY FONT Seb Lester photo LELOVEBLOGLOVEROSESAREREDVILOETSAREBLUESUGARISSWEETYOUHAVEALOVELYARSECALLIGRAPHYFONTSebLester_zpsc7acc297.jpg
Photos via: Holy Ghost! album cover | Seb Lester

Saturday, December 14, 2013

i'm not sure

LE LOVE BLOG LOVE PHOTO COUPLE PERSPECTIVE SEE MAN BETWEEN LEGS OCEAN LOVE STORY NICE GUY BUT NOT SURE ABOUT LOVE Untitled by Marija Kovac, on Flickr
Photo via: Marija Kovac

I am in love. Or I think I am. Truth is, I'm not sure. I have only had one boyfriend, and I know he is perfect. He says all the right words, he is caring and loving. He has his faults, and isn't perfect - which makes him perfect. I know that he loves me, and I love him. But here's the thing. Since he is my first everything, there is nothing to compare him to. I don't know how it is to have a boyfriend that isn't perfect. Therefore, I don't truly know what I have. And I know how spoiled and unappreciative that sounds. I want to love him, and I do! In some way... but I want to love him the way he deserves. Unconditionally, and appreciate him. They say that you don't know what you have until it's gone. I am afraid to lose maybe the one good thing in my life, but maybe that's exactly what I need to do. Explore other people, let them treat me bad. Have my hopes up, and then get my heart broken.

I don't know... I really don't know. All I know, is that I have found the man I want to live with and who loves me, but I can't appreciate it.

Thursday, December 12, 2013

you learn to appreciate

LE LOVE BLOG LOVE PHOTO IMAGE PICS ROSES IN A VASE CANCER LOSS STORY HIBI BY OLE FLICKR photo LELOVEBLOGLOVEPHOTOIMAGEPICSROSESINAVASECANCERLOSSSTORYHIBIBYOLEFLICKR_zpsda2995f2.jpg
Photo via: hibi by ole:)

For the last few moths the man of my dreams has blown me away. Flowers every day, dates two times a week, trips to destinations on top of our Bucket lists, smiles from the moment I open my eyes in the morning and until I close them at night, hugs, kisses, words that make me blush in public and telling me how much I am loved. Yesterday he lost his battle against cancer, 25 years old, leaving me behind with so much love that i don´t know where to put it all. 9 years together, but the last few months, after we got the terrible message, has been the best months of my life, the best of our relationship. When you are about to loose something, when what you breathe for slip away between your fingers, you learn to appreciate.

During these months I have changed my point of view while looking on life. The first flowers where a bouquet of roses, the last from a vase at the bed side table at the hospital. The smiles from your mouth ending up as stars in your eyes. Dates starting at restaurants, ending up keeping you warm in bed. But every day. Not a single day slipped, without you saying: "I love you!".

I am out of words. You have made me the proudest, luckiest girl alive, and no matter where I end up, I will always bring you with me, because you make me happy.

This one goes to the best man on earth.
My man.

I love you,and I have now idea what to do with my life from this point of.
I will hug you again, feel your lips against mine, we just have to be patient. Until then... I´ll just keep loving you.

You are the best, K.

Your Rose

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

for my whole life

LE LOVE BLOG LOVE STORY LOVE PHOTO IMAGE COUPLE FEET FOOTSIE TOGETHER FLIRTY PIC Untitled by Bimbi Gardel, on Flickr
LE LOVE BLOG LOVE QUOTE ITS BEEN OCCURRING TO ME ID LIKE TO HANG OUT WITH YOU FOR MY WHOLE LIFE photo LELOVEBLOGLOVEQUOTEITSBEENOCCURRINGTOMEIDLIKETOHANGOUTWITHYOUFORMYWHOLELIFEn_zps1257e1d1.png
Photo via: Bimbi Gardel | We Heart It (modified)

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

incredible nights like those

LE LOVE BLOG LOVE STORY JUST FOR ONE NIGHT LIKE A MOVIE GIRL WOMAN IN BED SMILING My Love by Emmanuel Rosario, on Flickr
Photo via: Emmanuel Rosario

You made me feel special; like the only girl that ever mattered. You made me feel worthy and for giving me that, even if just for the night, I am thankful. Probably the best night of my life, so carefree and happy. Felt like an ongoing movie scene. A romance. Doing things I wouldn’t normally do and feeling so comfortable in your arms. Protected and unashamed.

You told me to stop hiding my face and to show myself because I was beautiful. Thank you for that. Thank you for the seemingly endless love lust that night because it made me think that if I can have incredible nights like those every once in a while then there must be true love waiting for each and every one of us.

You made me feel so goddamn pretty but ever since I have been so anxious. I need more of it. I am addicted. Your sweet lips, your strong back, your laugh. It overwhelmed me, in the best fucking way possible. You drove me crazy and I am so thankful.

Thank you for making me feel valuable and for treating me like a princess… even if it was just for the night. Whispering "I just love kissing you” while I looked up at you made me feel like there’s nothing else in the world happening right now but you and I. Constantly you and I, as one. Nothing else mattered. Thank you.

Monday, December 9, 2013

i believe we can do it

LE LOVE BLOG LOVE PHOTO COUPLE SITTING TOGETHER HAND ON KNEE TRYING AGAIN TO SAVE RELATIONSHIP Untitled by lispetit anna liisa liiver, on Flickr
Photo via: anna liisa liiver

I truly love him. I need him. I need him to be here, with me. But still I have done things, I have not been a good girlfriend at all times. He has not been a good boyfriend at all times. The only truly thing we have had is LOVE. We do love each other, but the other problems cause this to not be enough. But I believe love can truly be enough. He does not believe so.

He thinks we have gone too far. We are too far away to get back together. To be happy again. Why shouldn't we be together? We are not the worst couple.. And we do love each other. Even thought we push, we scream, we yell, we say bad things and we fight. We have not made love in a month or so (different reasons, both period and fighting), but this does not mean that we do not love each other.

Am I to attached? Am I afraid to let go? Maybe I am.. But still my heart tells me he is for me. We are so bad that we are good for each other. We have found the love that can last, but we went to fast. We didn't wait. We only lived, fell in love, because lovers, moved in together, and BOOM, the problems started. And we did not do anything. We switched, at the beginning I was the one trying to fix things. Then I started school again, started to feel everything was to much. This I laid out on him. Then he started to try fixing things, he gave me chances after chances, just like I had done a couple of months ago. This time I did not take the hints, I did not notice them, I was to obsessed with everything being wrong, and not noticing the fact that I was the one that made it all wrong. It took me a couple of months to realize.

Now he has given up. And I want to try. I want to try as hard as I can. And I am going to. But it is so sad that even thought the love is there, it isn't enough! I hope that we can make it enough, that it will be enough again. We have lots of problems, it is going to take time. A long time. It is going to be hard, very hard. But I believe we can do it. Will I be able to convince him that I do still love him, and I do want to be with him, and it is not to late? We can still have a future, and everything we ever talked about. I just need to show him. Show him this.

I just hope he will understand. That I can be myself again, and that everything will be ok, but we both need to work for it. We can be a good couple. We have the love. And love SHOULD be enough... Shouldn't it?

xoxo desperate girl, trying to fix a relationship that is almost broken and the partner has lost fate in, even thought he has not left, yet.

Sunday, December 8, 2013

to love at all is to be vulnerable

LE LOVE BLOG LOVE COMIC STRIP TO LOVE ALL IS TO BE VULNERABLE CS LEWIS QUOTE GAVIN AUNG THAN ZEN PENCILS 1 photo LELOVEBLOGLOVECOMICSTRIPTOLOVEALLISTOBEVULNERABLECSLEWISQUOTEGAVINAUNGTHANZENPENCILS1_zps9bfed00c.jpeg
LE LOVE BLOG LOVE COMIC STRIP TO LOVE ALL IS TO BE VULNERABLE CS LEWIS QUOTE GAVIN AUNG THAN ZEN PENCILS 2 photo LELOVEBLOGLOVECOMICSTRIPTOLOVEALLISTOBEVULNERABLECSLEWISQUOTEGAVINAUNGTHANZENPENCILS2_zps6dc1d1ae.jpeg
LE LOVE BLOG LOVE COMIC STRIP TO LOVE ALL IS TO BE VULNERABLE CS LEWIS QUOTE GAVIN AUNG THAN ZEN PENCILS 3 photo LELOVEBLOGLOVECOMICSTRIPTOLOVEALLISTOBEVULNERABLECSLEWISQUOTEGAVINAUNGTHANZENPENCILS3_zpsd7a1bf5b.jpeg
Photo via: Zen Pencils

A love comic inspired by a quote from C.S. Lewis-

"To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket — safe, dark, motionless, airless — it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside of Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell."

Friday, December 6, 2013

getting to know each other

LE LOVE BLOG LOVE STORY SUBMISSIONS GETTING TO KNOW EACH OTHER GIRL SMILING LOOKING BACK Untitled by zhrdv, on Flickr
Photo via: zhrdv

"You don't have to take the train home tonight," is what I said to you that night, I think. I wasn't that nervous about being so forward with you at all, really. If you agreed, we'd see what could happen. If you didn't, I was leaving in a couple weeks and it didn't matter. It's so typical, but I was in a vulnerable place and just looking for an easy distraction.

I remember exactly how I felt about you before that night, but it always feels too rude of me to explain. I told you I thought we had absolutely nothing in common, and honestly that's because I sized you up to be this one dimensional kind of person. I figured you were a safe and uninteresting bet, that things wouldn't get weird with us. And they didn't, but not for that reason.

It's such a pleasant surprise, you know. We always love to joke about how the non-conventional way our friendship began. Things don't usually go down in that order, but it feels so normal to me. We have something really productive going on between us. My mind feels more active than it has been in a while, and the only difference is you in my life. It's as satisfying as the physical element we shared for a couple weeks, which was also pretty amazing by the way. Clothes on or off, it's simple and unassuming and just feels pretty damn good.

I don't exactly remember how we met over a year ago, but I've always found you kind of attractive. The ethnic ambiguity combined with that tall, long body of yours. I like how you feel on me, how you look laying next to me and I like that scar on your shoulder from your surgery. But honestly, what I'm most attracted to is what's going on in your head. You have this rich, inner life happening in there, just like I do. And most importantly, I can tell that it's all for your own enjoyment and not for pretentiousness or for someone else. You just seem so comfortable in your skin, so secure in who you are but not in a delusional or cocky way. You just seem pretty happy to be you and as a result it makes me glad that you're you too.

Now there are a lot of miles separating us, but maintaining this special friendship is happening so naturally. I like talking to you for some pretty legit reasons. You're curious about the things I'm curious about, so it's fun for me. And even if you don't actually, I feel like you understand me & the way I think for the most part. When I talk to you, I feel appreciated for what I want to be appreciated for. I feel like you see me the way I want to be seen. This sounds douchey, but I really don't need to be told I'm pretty or attractive because I'm really more than that or at least would like to be. So I guess it makes sense that I got kind of hooked when what you notice about me is usually something regarding my character. It feels good.

With you, I'm not really looking for someone to care about me or to make me feel safe or saved like I might have been before. We're just talking, getting to know each other on a human level and it's not about an us or love or anything like that and I couldn't be more pleased. I talk to you because I feel like it; I'm not yearning for anything. We're not riddled with expectations and I feel like we can just be what we are, special friends, until we're not anymore.

Thursday, December 5, 2013

i'm not in love, but i want to be

thursday.
Photo via: Sandra Beijer

There's this boy,
When we meet he smiles.
When we go separate ways he comes running back to give me another goodbye-kiss.
When I'm cold he gives me his hoodie, I thought that didn't actually happens.
When we kiss he lifts me up and denies that I weigh too much.
When we sleep, we sleep. Nothing more.
When there's no room to sit, he makes me sit in his lap.
He hugs me from behind.
He rests his head on my shoulder.
When we're in bed, or any other place actually, he sings for me even though he can't sing.

He is probably the best I'll ever get but I don't deserve him.
When he sits next to me I don't feel the urge to hold his hand.
My lips doesn't crave to meet his.
My eyes don't search for his.
I don't find any point in talking to him about anything just to talk.
My heart doesn't pound and my blood doesn't rush.
I'm not in love, but I want to be.
I want to be in love with him.
I know he'd catch me if I fell for him.
So how do I fall?

Tuesday, December 3, 2013

when you have to choose

LE LOVE BLOG LOVE PHOTO COUPLE HOLDING HANDS CHOOSE BETWEEN BEING IN LOVE AND BEING RESPECTED untitled by Esben Bøg, on Flickr
 photo LELOVEBLOGLOVEPHOTOINSPIRATIONLOVEQUOTEWORDSTHEREWILLBETIMESINYOURLIFEWHENYOUHAVETOCHOOSEBETWEENBEINGLOVEANDBEINGRESPECTED_zpsecb0b617.jpg
Photo via: Esben Bøg | We Heart It

Sunday, December 1, 2013

let us at least try

LE LOVE BLOG LOVE SUBMISSION STORY BETTER HUSBAND COME BACK LETTER LOVE BLACK AND WHITE PHOTO COUPLE HUGGING EYES CLOSED F1000025 by Charlotte-robin, on Flickr
Photo via: Charlotte-robin

I'm not going to go all stalker on you, but I at least want to put my thoughts down. I need to get this out for me and once again I am sorry for doing this. Seems I've always been good at hurting you and now is no different.

I was an unappreciative husband who didn't see how much I loved you.
I turned my back on you in your time of need.
I didn't fight to keep you until it was too late.
I didn't show my love for you on a regular basis.
I didn't keep you happy.
I tried to control you instead of letting you control yourself.
I, in part, allowed you to become so dependent on me.
I didn't make love to you every chance I got.
I expected you to turn off your illness to please me. With this one, there is some middle ground. I wanted you to see that you do have control and not to give up. I think I took it too far at times.
I didn't realize how much I was IN LOVE with you until it was too late
And most of all, I didn't make you want to stay with me.

For this and much more I am truly sorry. None of this is your fault. I allowed this to happen and then I let you walk out of my life thinking what I was doing was right for both of us. Don't continue to blame yourself for what is going on, I started it and let it continue. I have failed you as a husband, a lover, and a friend. Please don't blame yourself, see this for what it really is.

I would give anything to turn back time. Actually, I would rather not turn back time, as this would be a reminder of what could happen if I should slip again. I wish with all of me that you would allow us to at least try to put it back together. That's all I want is a chance to show you again that I can be the man you want to spend the rest of your life with. I want to make you love me again. I know you say you love me, but until you are back with me, I believe that you don't love me the way you did. And I can understand that because, as I have said, I let it get this bad.

You say you can't be with me because I deserve better. If that is the reason you won't come back, I really want you to rethink that. You are the woman of my dreams. You have been so good to me and stood by me no matter what. Please let go of what you think I deserve.

About you learning to take care of yourself, this can be done together. I promise that. I want to go to counseling with you so someone can help us sort that out. We can go to Amy or anybody you want. Say the word and I will make the appointment myself. If we were to get back together, you would keep your checking account and money and we would split bills up so that you are responsible for some and would have no choice but to learn to take care of things. We can do this together, I don't see this as a viable reason to stay apart. I also want to talk to someone about finding that area between me being too controlling and me acting like I don't care. I want to learn how to be a better husband to you.

What I do deserve is to be with someone who loves me so completely like you do. You have given me so much love and for that I am amazed. No one has ever loved me as you have, and probably never will. I have loved you more than I could believe I would ever love someone. I was very poor at showing it. I took for granted that you would always be there.

All I want is for us to try to put the pieces back together. I want us to really work at it as a marriage should be worked at. I guess I thought that a good marriage required no work. Boy was I wrong on that one. I promised to love you and stay with you no matter what, and I just want to keep that promise. You are everything to me and I feel like nothing without you. The pains in my stomach and chest have become unbearable. I want to hold you all night long and not let go. I want to lay around and kiss you like its going to be our last kiss. I want to feel your skin against mine. I want the deep passionate kisses that we shared. I want to hold you from behind and kiss your neck. I want to go places with you and show the world my love for you. I want to wake up in the morning and see your face first thing. I want to be there for you whenever you should stumble or need a shoulder to cry on. I want to cry on your shoulder when needed. I want to go on the dates we used to go on. I want to grow with you and watch the years go by as we grow old together. I want to buy you flowers and see the expression on your face when I walk in the door with them. I want to wake up in the morning with no place to go and just lay with you and play. I want to get up on a Saturday morning and go out to breakfast, but only if we can let go of each other long enough to get dressed. I want to take showers together and explore each other's body like we're making a map. I want to be that man you fell in love with again. I want you to feel safe when your with me and for me to feel safe when I'm with you. I want to playfully wake you up in the middle of the night for some fun. I want to brush your hair, rub your back and feet. I want to make you feel like the princess that you are tom me. I want to make love to you like we used to, so passionate and full of love. I still get butterflies thinking how we clicked together as if we were made to be together. I never knew what it was like to feel as one until I loved you. I want to be your husband and to spend every moment of my life with you.

Somehow, somewhere in your heart I know you want to come home. But you are scared. You think I deserve something else. I am telling you that I want you back as my wife. And, I guess I don't deserve you and can't blame you for not wanting to come back. But, all I want is a chance. Will it be champagne and roses every day? Of course not, no relationship will be. But can it be improved upon? Yes it can and it will be. I promise you that. If you should come home to me and we honestly try to put it back together and you're not happy with it, then you can leave. I will not think less of you. I just want to know that we truly gave this love we hve for each other all of the chances that it deserves. I pledge to you that I will do everything in my power to make this marriage what you want it to be, while being supportive and helpful to you in finding what you need to live a healthy life. I will be your legs when you cannot stand, your eyes when you cannot see, your mouth when you cannot talk. I need you to be my heart like you have been for the past 6 years. With you gone I feel like I don't have a heart. I lay in bed at night and find myself short of breath when I think of losing you. When you left, a piece of me left, a big piece. I can't live without that piece of me. It hurts to be awake at times.

I cannot believe this is happening. Tiffany, I swear to you, if you give us this last chance, I will not let you down again. I will do anything to win your heart back. Just come home to me and give it a shot. Please come home to me and make me the happiest man in the world for a second time. I truly love you more than life itself and just want us to give what we have the chance it deserves. Here's my thing, if God exists, then he specifically created you and I for the sole purpose of sharing our lives together. Why else would we have met, fell in love, been through thick and thin, and marry each other. Surely there must be a reason, and us being apart is not it. I'm going to do something tonight that I haven't done in years. I'm going to pray with all of my heart. These times call for it. I need you with me and I am willing to do anything to have you home with me.

I have completely poured myself out to you in this. I don't know if it will help or if I am fighting a losing battle. But, I've got to try. I've got to fight. I've got to show you that I can be that guy you fell in love with again. I can't promise I will give up fighting for you. I hate to hurt you, but I hate being apart from you even more. I hate thinking that you will not be my wife forever. I refuse to accept that we can't fix this. If you truly love me, and I truly love you, then we can truly do anything together. Whatever it takes, we can do it.

Please come home to me, please love me like you've loved me, and please allow me to love you and to be in love with you. Please come home and let us at least try, if anything to make sure. At least then we will know and won't have doubts down the road.

I love you Tiffany and I always will.

Neil
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